Saturday, February 12, 2011

To Believe or not?

That is the question. Do I believe what my son says or not. You're wondering why I am asking this.

A couple of years ago it seemed like everything he was telling me was a lie. It was really bothering me.

So at the next appointment with his therapist I ask her if he was a habitual liar. To my relief she said no.

She explained that their reality is totally different from our reality and they will do/say anything to keep from being yelled or or getting in trouble.

So how do you tell the difference? That was the question I forgot to ask and that is what causes me trouble now.

I don't know when he is telling me that is coming from his reality or if it is in the "real" reality.

One example is school work. He will do anything so he doesn't have to write and sometimes he just doesn't want to do any work.

Yesterday one of his teachers told me she was giving him some make-up work to do and what to look for when he got home.

He got in the car, I asked him about the work, and he told me that he had turned it all in.

Do I believe or not believe?

As soon as I got in the house I emailed his teacher but I guess she had already left because I didn't receive an answer.

I then wen to his notebook and found the book but no papers to work on. So did he really turn the papers in or throw them away? I just don't know.

So what is the "new normal" for these situations?

Partly, I think the "new normal' is try to check everything he says and another key is in how I ask the question.

Instead of asking: "did you feed the cows?" I need to ask: "What time did you feed the cow?"

Totatlly avoiding a Yes/No answer.

The new normal could be: when do you believe and when do you continue to check on what he says.

From my world to yours.....


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