Udates - might be long.

The meeting went great.  The superintendent said she saw no problem with having the dog in the school.  I told her how I wanted to start the dog out slowly and they all agreed.

The director of special ed was great.  Everytime someone would say:  "We'd like for him to eat with everyone, or we'd like for him to develop some friends."  She would interject that this was the nature of autism - they have a hard time making friends and would like to just be alone.

We have to get liability insurance for her, son is in control, if he can't control her - and before the read the rest of the sentence I said:  You have every right to remove her and have me pick her up.

So that part was great.

But when I picked him up he was walking from a different part of the campus.  He was really upset when he got in the car.  The 7th hour teacher made him walk with her to the area where the kids ride the bus.  That was weird since he doesn't ride the bus.

We reminded the principal of that this morning.

Once he calmed down things seemed to go a little bit better.  We were watching our favority show when he said:  Lying to a disabled person is just unheard of.  We both cracked up laughing.

But he kept telling me he wasn't going to school today.  He said that all night long.  After I gave him his night pills he barracaded himself in his room.  I wasn't concerned too much about that because I knew he would get hungry and would have to come out.

He did take everything down but he was in tears.  He must have cried for about an hour.  He finally told me that some other boy was really giving him a hard time.

I really wished I could have taken him in my arms and say that everything would be okay and that he wouldn't have to go to school.  But I know he has to go.

This morning he continued to tell me he wasn't going.  Once I knew that his morning pills had kicked in I told him we had to meet with the principal and that we wouldn't take anything with us except his dog.

So of course he put on old clothes and we went.  We met immediately with the principal discussed our options, coped with son not being too nice, and then he was given his choices:  he could stay at school with his dog or he could stay at school without his dog.

He was trying to keep me from leaving so I just walked around the room instead of trying to push by him.

I went to the car and got the dog's backpack and brought it back.  The secretary took it to him and said he was doing fine.

I picked up his dog at 11:30 and dropped off a pizza for him.  They are going to look for a place for him to eat that is not so noisy as the cafeteria.

I take the dog back in about 30 minutes for the last hour of class then I come back home, then leave again, pick up another pizza for him, pick him and his dog up from school and take him to  his therapist appointment.

It looks like I will be going to the school about 5 times a day for a couple of weeks.  But I'm a mom and that is what moms do - help make their children successful.  Although, I must say I am planning tomorrow to get everything I need for next week because I won't be making any runs into the city or to the stores.

From my world to your world.......

Mary

I have a meeting!

This afternoon with the superintendent of schools, the assistant superintendent of schools, the director of special ed, and the hs principal.

I had a very hard time getting him to school this morning.  I told him if we left early enough that we would stop by the administration building and give the letter to the superintendent.  She wasn't there but boy were they passing that letter around to different people.

Then we left to go to school.  Son did not want to go unless his dog could come with him.  We went in and waited to talk to a principal.  We talked for about 10 minutes and I gave son a choice.  He would go to class as his dog and I left, or he could stay and talk while his dog and I left.  He kept trying to make deals and finally I said - since you are not making a decision I will,  I got the dog and left.

The therapist wants to use rehab instead of his dog.  I want to use both of them.

Then about 30 minutes after I got home the superintendent called and wanted to know if I could meet this afternoon.

I switched his appointment and will be meeting with them.

From my world to your world......

Mary

Can I Do This?

He is already sitting things up for not going to school tomorrow.  He said he head hurts and he is laying in bed in the dark.

Some good news is that he did not use bad language with the secretary.

He wants to take his service dog tomorrow.  I have written a letter to the superintendent and will deliver it tomorrow.

They are only allowed to ask two questions:  if the service dog is needed for a disability (duh!) and what work the service dog does is you can't see it.  In my letter I answered both questions but I think that I will add if his service dog is allowed to attend school with him we can cut back on all the absences.

I've got to remember that he was up at 4:30 this morning because he couldn't sleep.

The principal did fix his belt for him and he'll have to wear another belt tomorrow.

The stress of wondering if the phone is going to ring will it be the school?  The stress of wondering how hard it is going to be to get him into the car in the morning?  This stress is extreme.

I'm going to tell him to mention to the principal that he wants to bring his service dog to school and that I have written a letter to the superintendent about it.

I have a call into the regional Office of Civil Rights.  For some reason it seems to fall under them instead of the ADA - at least that is what the director of special ed said on Monday.

I was going through his papers today and realized that the teacher of record removed all modifications from his IEP.  He has two regular ed classes and will need those modifications.

Maybe because it isn't starting out well it will go better as the year goes on.

From my world to your world......

Mary

Update

I just received my first phone call.  He wants me to pick him up.  He said lunch was gross, his belt broke, and that he already cussed out the secretary that I had better come up before something else happens.

Then I asked him to let me talk to the secretary who spoke to me first and he was about to hang up when the principal got on the phone and talked to me.  I explained that he told me his belt broke and maybe they could fix it.

Okay - hang in there, hang in there, hang in there......

From my world to your world

Mary

PS  I am so sorry I fogot to say that in my last post.

1st day of school

He was fine until it was time to go.  After he brushed his teeth he called me into the bathroom and said he had thrown up.  He was bending over the toilet but I think he must have used his finger.

He wanted me to promise that I would come pick him up if he threw up in his mouth.  I told him I would pick him up if he threw up on the floor in front of someone.  What  a wonderful conversation.

I had his IEP meeting on Monday.  They said I would have to write a letter to the superintendent about his service dog.

Their answer has changed each time I have asked about him bringing his dog.

I emailed his principal and several of the teachers but I have not heard anything back from them yet.

I did tell him there would be someone there to walk him to each class.  When a class lets out she would be outside the door in the hallway and she would take him to class.

Hopefully, she will be there, if not I am really going to be upset.

School

School for us starts next week.  Summer has never been long enough for me.  I always enjoyed have my kids home.

And now here is my youngest about to start 10th grade.  I can't believe it.

I'm not supposed to worry.  That is what his therapist has told me - don't worry, because if I do worry then he will feel that and he will begin to worry about school.

But how do you not worry about your son, who will always be your little boy, who has never had friends at school, who has was beaten up during recess by his classmates, who gets so scared he doesn't care who sees him cry.

I wish I could just protect him.  I love him so much.

I took one of my other sons with us and we bought school clothes for him.  He should look pretty cool.  I bought him a messengar bag today.  I think he is ready, but I'm not.

I don't think I will ever be ready.

From my world to your world......

Mary

School is just around the corner

And I can sure feel the pressure.  I emailed the director of special services and asked if she would be contacting the necessary people for the IEP before school started or did I need to contact them.

I received a very short blunt reply that the teachers do not come back until the 18 and so it will have to be after that but she would make contact with the teacher and with the principal.

I replied and thanked her for her help and asked that she give me a few dates that would work for them once she made contact and then I would let her know which ones would work for me.

Son's therapist says for me to stay positive.  I really try but the stress of yet another IEP meeting and so much riding on it makes me feel really weighted down.

I've done some research such as reading the Department of Justice definition of Serivce Animals, contacting the Bazalon Law Center for Mental Health, reading the statutes of Oklahoma Law concerning service animals and trying to put that all into a readable format.  Reading when federal law overrides state law etc.

Now I am wondering how to put son's team together.  Do I use the same parent advocate?  Do I call Legal Aid or do I try and find an attorney that will work pro bono?  Do I even need an attorney?  Do I look for an advocate that doesn't cost too much money?

And then I have to remember to put it in the Lord's hands and listen very carefully for the Spirit when I am making these decisions.

From my world to your world.....

Mary