For this morning. He went to school and didn't say anything about me picking him up early. So hopefully no meltdowns today.
I really can't imagine what is going in his mind. It must be terrifying. Did I tell you yesterday that the counselor said he was in her office crying and upset and didn't calm down until he knew that I was going to pick him up at 11:30?
Here is what I am wondering: Was he really crying and upset or was he making himself cry? I don't know and I don't know how to found out.
The only times I see him cry are when his feelings are really hurt. I wish he was able to put into words what is going on.
I am going to ask his dr. about the medicine that has helped some autistic people communicate their feelings.
From my world to yourr world.....
Mary
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
And life goes on......
and he is going through a growth spurt!
He is adding different foods to his diet. He'll eat beefy mushroom soup with rice - which really is good if you haven't tried it - and he new favorite are canned tamales! I can't believe it. He'll eat 2 cans of them in one setting!
He is even eating some of the lunches at school.
And speaking of school - he had another meltdown today and I had to pick him up at lunch. He was in the counselor's office crying and very upset until she told him I would be there at 11:30.
I thought things were going to go smoother for these last 9 weeks. Last week after spring break he went to school no problem until he had his first doctor appointment. He wouldn't go back to school after that and then the next day he came home early.
I really don't know what the solution is going to be. I'll be glad when summer gets here.
From my world to your world......
Mary
He is adding different foods to his diet. He'll eat beefy mushroom soup with rice - which really is good if you haven't tried it - and he new favorite are canned tamales! I can't believe it. He'll eat 2 cans of them in one setting!
He is even eating some of the lunches at school.
And speaking of school - he had another meltdown today and I had to pick him up at lunch. He was in the counselor's office crying and very upset until she told him I would be there at 11:30.
I thought things were going to go smoother for these last 9 weeks. Last week after spring break he went to school no problem until he had his first doctor appointment. He wouldn't go back to school after that and then the next day he came home early.
I really don't know what the solution is going to be. I'll be glad when summer gets here.
From my world to your world......
Mary
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Comments - still learning
This really has nothing to do with my son but rather me and my challenges with computers.
I thought I had it seleted for comments to be seen but for some reason they are not.
Also, the alert about new comments was being sent to the wrong email account.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm sorry I have not responded to your comments.
I really appreciate them and finally found them. They mean so much to me.
Thank you.
So I am trying to make sure I have things updated and ther correct little boxes marked with the "x".
From my world to yours....
Mary
I thought I had it seleted for comments to be seen but for some reason they are not.
Also, the alert about new comments was being sent to the wrong email account.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm sorry I have not responded to your comments.
I really appreciate them and finally found them. They mean so much to me.
Thank you.
So I am trying to make sure I have things updated and ther correct little boxes marked with the "x".
From my world to yours....
Mary
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wow! A long time..
I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted! Lots of things have gone through my mind that I wanted to post but for some reason never got around to it. Sorry about that.
Tonight's post: Thank goodness for those big blue pills!
I was giving him his night pills and as I handed him the cup I didn't see the big blue pill inside. So I went back to get it when I realized that I had his morning pills instead of his night pills.
When I said Oh my- he asked what I was about to give him - morning pills - that would not have been good. That would mean an entire night of no sleep and then he wouldn't be able to go to school tomorrow because I couldn't give them to him again!
And what is stupid is that I have his morning pills in while, afternoon, purple, and blue for night!
Geeze I hate it when I do that!
From my world to yours....
Mary
Tonight's post: Thank goodness for those big blue pills!
I was giving him his night pills and as I handed him the cup I didn't see the big blue pill inside. So I went back to get it when I realized that I had his morning pills instead of his night pills.
When I said Oh my- he asked what I was about to give him - morning pills - that would not have been good. That would mean an entire night of no sleep and then he wouldn't be able to go to school tomorrow because I couldn't give them to him again!
And what is stupid is that I have his morning pills in while, afternoon, purple, and blue for night!
Geeze I hate it when I do that!
From my world to yours....
Mary
Monday, March 14, 2011
How do I say.....
Everything was pretty good yesterday until I game him the medications at night that help him sleep.
I gave him his pills and I thought I had food for him to eat - steak, eggs, candy bar, ravioli and some ther things. But I guess not.
He said he would like the steak. Sounds good so I went to cut it up and reheat it but then he said he wanted steak sauce and not ketchup. We didn't have any sauce just ketchup. That did not go over well.
He got up and started going through the refrigerator and not in a very nice manner.
Let me preface this here for a minute. Remember his pills make him extremely hungry so much so he just has to eat. There is no way around it. Now combine this with his sensory intergration issues and it limits what he will eat.
I was very upset to say the least as the following happened:
He couldn't find any sauce and so he pulled out the ketchup and then he slammed it down on the counter. Did you know that plastic will shatter? It does and the ketchup went all over the kitchen, the floor, and all over me. I was furious....
So I walked away and tried to clean myself off and went back into the kitchen. He had then pulled out a can of spaghettios and was pouring them out when he say a meat ball.
I was so quiet at that point and told him he had to clean everything up.
I just just got more upset so once I just went to bed and bascially locked myself in my bathroom and cried and chilled out. I really felt like a failure.
How do you get through to someone who is in that type of meltdown? Yes, he calmed down and I think he came into my bedroom to apologize but I was in my bathroom. I think he came in twice but I was in the bathroom both times.
Should I have come out and let him apologze to me? Did I make a mistake in not doing that?
I really don't know. All I know is to keep praying and asking Heavenly Father for guidance.
I am beginning to be 2 and 2 together though. If he doesn't eat until he is satisfied at bedtime then he wakes up during the night and he wakes up early in the morning because he is hungry.
Waking up early on spring break really is not what I wanted to do. He will be going to bed early tonight with a full stomach so that he will sleep the entire night.
I did have him sweep and mop the floor this morning and clean up the counter tops.
I don't know if there is a new normal here or not. I don't even know if I handled the situation correctly or not. I do know that I wish I had my sweet young man 24/7 and to that end I will be working towards.
From my world to yours....
Mary
I gave him his pills and I thought I had food for him to eat - steak, eggs, candy bar, ravioli and some ther things. But I guess not.
He said he would like the steak. Sounds good so I went to cut it up and reheat it but then he said he wanted steak sauce and not ketchup. We didn't have any sauce just ketchup. That did not go over well.
He got up and started going through the refrigerator and not in a very nice manner.
Let me preface this here for a minute. Remember his pills make him extremely hungry so much so he just has to eat. There is no way around it. Now combine this with his sensory intergration issues and it limits what he will eat.
I was very upset to say the least as the following happened:
He couldn't find any sauce and so he pulled out the ketchup and then he slammed it down on the counter. Did you know that plastic will shatter? It does and the ketchup went all over the kitchen, the floor, and all over me. I was furious....
So I walked away and tried to clean myself off and went back into the kitchen. He had then pulled out a can of spaghettios and was pouring them out when he say a meat ball.
I was so quiet at that point and told him he had to clean everything up.
I just just got more upset so once I just went to bed and bascially locked myself in my bathroom and cried and chilled out. I really felt like a failure.
How do you get through to someone who is in that type of meltdown? Yes, he calmed down and I think he came into my bedroom to apologize but I was in my bathroom. I think he came in twice but I was in the bathroom both times.
Should I have come out and let him apologze to me? Did I make a mistake in not doing that?
I really don't know. All I know is to keep praying and asking Heavenly Father for guidance.
I am beginning to be 2 and 2 together though. If he doesn't eat until he is satisfied at bedtime then he wakes up during the night and he wakes up early in the morning because he is hungry.
Waking up early on spring break really is not what I wanted to do. He will be going to bed early tonight with a full stomach so that he will sleep the entire night.
I did have him sweep and mop the floor this morning and clean up the counter tops.
I don't know if there is a new normal here or not. I don't even know if I handled the situation correctly or not. I do know that I wish I had my sweet young man 24/7 and to that end I will be working towards.
From my world to yours....
Mary
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
This has been one of those days
When you go from one extreme to the other - from this sweet young man to who is this child?
This morning was sweet. I had put my scriptures on a chair while I did something else. He picked them up to move them and I said be careful with them remember they're kind of old.
He then said - there is your memory bank. I said what? Memory bank?
He said, yes mom, your scriptures are your memory bank everything you need is in there.
Awe - how sweet!
But an hour later when it was time to go to school we were searching the house for his glasses. I knew I had seen them last night but I couldn't remember where. He said they were no where to be found and that he thought he could go to school without them until 12 p.m. when I picked him up for his appointment.
Then I knew what had happened - he had hidden his glasses in an effort to not go to his afternoon classes.
I'll admit I wasn't very sweet myself then - I told him that if I used up my one free hour this morning looking for his glasses and found that they were hidden he would think grounding was a brezze in the park. When I came back in from starting the car guess what? Yes, he had his glasses on.
I dropped him off at school, ran home, ran to my dr. appointment, ran home and picked up his service dog and then ran to school to pick him up, I even had to call the school to ask them to get him out of class and waiting for me.
And what is he doing when he gets up to walk out to the car. Think setting up a scenario so he doesn't have to go back to school after the appointment. He was limping and told me that he had twisted his ankle and wouldn't be able to go back to school.
I just told him that yes he was going to go to school.
Then he showed me a study guide for a test he had tomorrow. You may be wondering why that would upset me. Let me explain.
In his IEP it states that I am to have a corrected study guide emailed to me 4 days prior to the test. I even sent out a reminder email last week and haven't received any study guide.
So how am I supposed to study with him for tomorrow when it take a couple of days to study on one subject?
Next then I received return phone call from Project Peak. They do behavior analysis for autistic children. This was requested last November. They did the observation in January and I still hadn't heard anything from the school to go over the results so I called them.
She informed me that they were waiting on the school to contact them because the school wanted them to come back out. She also wanted to know if I wanted them to send what they had or wait on the school. I told her that I would contact the director of special ed.
So I am somewhat upset. How do you set up a behavior plan when you won't even be able to implement it when there are only a few weeks left of school. It will be difficult to say the least.
We get to the therapist appointment. There he has a major meltdown. The good part of the appointment was that we got the paper work together for them to fax to apply for Disability for him.
He was still upset in the car telling me he wasn't going to go back to school. And he was like that until I dropped him off from school.
So I run home to leave the dog again, call the director of special ed, call project peak back informing her that the directo of special ed would be calling her.
Run to walmart, run home, gobble a bite to eat and then leave to pick him up from school. He was happy and ready to go to church tonight and was the happy go lucky excited about going.
Everything is great right - it seems like it. Here is the tricky part - when do I give him his afternoon meds? Too early and they wear off too early, give them too late and he won't be ready to go to church. I think it hit it about right. He did have a meltdown about going but after 15 mintutes things were calmed down.
Hopefully they will stay that way for the rest of the evening.
Is there a new normal here. Yes. Don't get upset or dicouraged when they days happen and they will happen most likely more often than not. Others may have only one of these days with their children that are not autistic but my normal is very different and I'm not going to beat myself up over it.
From my world to yours......
Mary
This morning was sweet. I had put my scriptures on a chair while I did something else. He picked them up to move them and I said be careful with them remember they're kind of old.
He then said - there is your memory bank. I said what? Memory bank?
He said, yes mom, your scriptures are your memory bank everything you need is in there.
Awe - how sweet!
But an hour later when it was time to go to school we were searching the house for his glasses. I knew I had seen them last night but I couldn't remember where. He said they were no where to be found and that he thought he could go to school without them until 12 p.m. when I picked him up for his appointment.
Then I knew what had happened - he had hidden his glasses in an effort to not go to his afternoon classes.
I'll admit I wasn't very sweet myself then - I told him that if I used up my one free hour this morning looking for his glasses and found that they were hidden he would think grounding was a brezze in the park. When I came back in from starting the car guess what? Yes, he had his glasses on.
I dropped him off at school, ran home, ran to my dr. appointment, ran home and picked up his service dog and then ran to school to pick him up, I even had to call the school to ask them to get him out of class and waiting for me.
And what is he doing when he gets up to walk out to the car. Think setting up a scenario so he doesn't have to go back to school after the appointment. He was limping and told me that he had twisted his ankle and wouldn't be able to go back to school.
I just told him that yes he was going to go to school.
Then he showed me a study guide for a test he had tomorrow. You may be wondering why that would upset me. Let me explain.
In his IEP it states that I am to have a corrected study guide emailed to me 4 days prior to the test. I even sent out a reminder email last week and haven't received any study guide.
So how am I supposed to study with him for tomorrow when it take a couple of days to study on one subject?
Next then I received return phone call from Project Peak. They do behavior analysis for autistic children. This was requested last November. They did the observation in January and I still hadn't heard anything from the school to go over the results so I called them.
She informed me that they were waiting on the school to contact them because the school wanted them to come back out. She also wanted to know if I wanted them to send what they had or wait on the school. I told her that I would contact the director of special ed.
So I am somewhat upset. How do you set up a behavior plan when you won't even be able to implement it when there are only a few weeks left of school. It will be difficult to say the least.
We get to the therapist appointment. There he has a major meltdown. The good part of the appointment was that we got the paper work together for them to fax to apply for Disability for him.
He was still upset in the car telling me he wasn't going to go back to school. And he was like that until I dropped him off from school.
So I run home to leave the dog again, call the director of special ed, call project peak back informing her that the directo of special ed would be calling her.
Run to walmart, run home, gobble a bite to eat and then leave to pick him up from school. He was happy and ready to go to church tonight and was the happy go lucky excited about going.
Everything is great right - it seems like it. Here is the tricky part - when do I give him his afternoon meds? Too early and they wear off too early, give them too late and he won't be ready to go to church. I think it hit it about right. He did have a meltdown about going but after 15 mintutes things were calmed down.
Hopefully they will stay that way for the rest of the evening.
Is there a new normal here. Yes. Don't get upset or dicouraged when they days happen and they will happen most likely more often than not. Others may have only one of these days with their children that are not autistic but my normal is very different and I'm not going to beat myself up over it.
From my world to yours......
Mary
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Processing
Processing processing processing. It it what it looks like when I ask, tell, or speak to my son - you can see it in his eyes - processing, processing, processing......a few minutes later he will then answer or do what I've asked him.
I have to remember that and I have a hard time remembering that he needs extra time to process information. It doesn't matter if it is something that he is reading or if someone is speaking to him.
I really think I have seen how this works when I have stood back and watched:
When the horse trainer has asked him to do a specific exercise with the horse I was really amazed. I heard the comment, I new he heard the comment/command, I saw him sit still, then there was something in his eyes, then it connected and the command/exercise was carried out.
Now, I have to tell myself: don't keep asking over and over - allow time for processing.
Hmmm... sounds kind of like the last post except it is me who has to get it into my long term memory that I need to pause and give him time to process.
It is almost like they are frozen in time for just a second. When one of my other sons has asked him to do something he just stands there for a second or two. I can imagine the message entering his ears, the message is being sent to the brain but instead of going straight to the brain, his is hijacked by some other nerve center (not sure what to call it) and is forwarded to different centers before it is then delivered to his brain. I hope that makes sense.
So be patient it really only takes a few more seconds for it to register, which in our fast paced world my seem like a long time to us.
From my world to yours....
Mary
I have to remember that and I have a hard time remembering that he needs extra time to process information. It doesn't matter if it is something that he is reading or if someone is speaking to him.
I really think I have seen how this works when I have stood back and watched:
When the horse trainer has asked him to do a specific exercise with the horse I was really amazed. I heard the comment, I new he heard the comment/command, I saw him sit still, then there was something in his eyes, then it connected and the command/exercise was carried out.
Now, I have to tell myself: don't keep asking over and over - allow time for processing.
Hmmm... sounds kind of like the last post except it is me who has to get it into my long term memory that I need to pause and give him time to process.
It is almost like they are frozen in time for just a second. When one of my other sons has asked him to do something he just stands there for a second or two. I can imagine the message entering his ears, the message is being sent to the brain but instead of going straight to the brain, his is hijacked by some other nerve center (not sure what to call it) and is forwarded to different centers before it is then delivered to his brain. I hope that makes sense.
So be patient it really only takes a few more seconds for it to register, which in our fast paced world my seem like a long time to us.
From my world to yours....
Mary
Never Say....
I've told him/her before how do it so he'll remember. You will just cause yourelf and your child more stress.
Yes, we may have explained something to them before and maybe even explained it 3 or 4 times, but really, they don't remember.
For them to remember something it has to be repeated over and over until it makes itself into their long term memory. It needs to become "routine."
My son loves to drive the tractor and loves to plow the garden working the soil and getting it ready to plant. So of course my husband has explained to him how to drive, how to move the controls, and how to lower the blades and since my husbands remembers that he has explained all that to him and that he doesn't have to again, he and our son have so much more stress. My husband is yelling at him to change gears, slow down, don't do that, do this and our son is stressed out because he is being yelled at.
If on the other hand each time our son is going to use the tractor in the garden my husband needs to go over with him all the guidlines again, helping to plant (no pun intended) this into his long term memory.
All kids with autism may not be like my son. He doesn't have much of a shorterm memory so anything new has to be repeated several times before it makes it to his long term memory.
Never assume our children remember what to do because we've told them how 2 weeks ago.
Which brings to mind a topic for another post.....
From my world to yours......
Mary
Yes, we may have explained something to them before and maybe even explained it 3 or 4 times, but really, they don't remember.
For them to remember something it has to be repeated over and over until it makes itself into their long term memory. It needs to become "routine."
My son loves to drive the tractor and loves to plow the garden working the soil and getting it ready to plant. So of course my husband has explained to him how to drive, how to move the controls, and how to lower the blades and since my husbands remembers that he has explained all that to him and that he doesn't have to again, he and our son have so much more stress. My husband is yelling at him to change gears, slow down, don't do that, do this and our son is stressed out because he is being yelled at.
If on the other hand each time our son is going to use the tractor in the garden my husband needs to go over with him all the guidlines again, helping to plant (no pun intended) this into his long term memory.
All kids with autism may not be like my son. He doesn't have much of a shorterm memory so anything new has to be repeated several times before it makes it to his long term memory.
Never assume our children remember what to do because we've told them how 2 weeks ago.
Which brings to mind a topic for another post.....
From my world to yours......
Mary
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde
I wish I knew the answer to the question I am about to pose - what causes my son to be a sweet young, caring boy one minute and then the next minute this mean, rude person I don't necessarily like?
Is it the autism? The space between the medicines wearing and before the new ones kick in or is the doctor going to add bi-polar to his diagnosis?
I wish I knew.
It can and usually does change very quickly. Literally, he can be sitting there one moment and the next he is so upset and then 30 minutes later he has calmed back down.
From my world to yours.....
Mary
Is it the autism? The space between the medicines wearing and before the new ones kick in or is the doctor going to add bi-polar to his diagnosis?
I wish I knew.
It can and usually does change very quickly. Literally, he can be sitting there one moment and the next he is so upset and then 30 minutes later he has calmed back down.
From my world to yours.....
Mary
Wording
Wording is so important whether it is a question, comment, request or a warning.
Here is an example (and I hope I haven't already given you this one):
"Don't use that cough as an excuse to leave class early."
Right after I said it I knew I had made a big mistake.
I could see his brain working: okay I can't use the cough so I must be able to use something else as a reason to leave class early.
In essence I just gave him permission to use something else - stomach ache, headache, whatever, as an excuse to leave class early.
And of course he used it.
I have some other things that I want to share and of course I thought I could remember and could post it later - but no not me - I have forgotten. From now on I've got to post as I think of it!
From my world to yours.......
Mary
Here is an example (and I hope I haven't already given you this one):
"Don't use that cough as an excuse to leave class early."
Right after I said it I knew I had made a big mistake.
I could see his brain working: okay I can't use the cough so I must be able to use something else as a reason to leave class early.
In essence I just gave him permission to use something else - stomach ache, headache, whatever, as an excuse to leave class early.
And of course he used it.
I have some other things that I want to share and of course I thought I could remember and could post it later - but no not me - I have forgotten. From now on I've got to post as I think of it!
From my world to yours.......
Mary
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)